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2014 Worst Baby Names of Japan

Dec 31, 2014 by Mia Uchida 1

I love the end of the year, because all the regrets come pouring and gushing out of people about the past year. 

I think that the few people who have been reading my blog(s) can get behind the fact that I WASTE A LOT OF TIME ON THE INTERNET.  That's okay though, because it's a right of passage for being fresh out of college, continuing to pretend that I'm in college, and acting like I'm still in college.  

Names in Japan have gone through some sort of bizarre revolution in the past decade. Dubbed as "kira kira names", or "sparkly names", the recent mothers and fathers of the next generation in Japan have been drinking bad water or something.  I find the names repulsive, and I snicker when meeting new people with odd characters assigned to them.  However, the recent list of bad 2014 names really brings my terrible palette for bad taste up a few notches.  

Behold, the list below (in Japanese.  Don't worry, I'll list them in English): 

Sensou - means War 

Anaru- I can only assume that this is "Anal" 

Anaru- different characters, same name as above 

Karin- this one isn't too bad, I think it's the characters that make it really silly looking though 

Haato- Heart.  Talk about never getting laid. 

Hadesu- I have no idea what this name means

Pelika- Same as above

Rugia- I hate Pokemon.  Pokemon ruins the world 

Wish- ...no comment 

Mara- This one just sounds so weird in Japanese 

Iroha- The old alphabet...great.  Essentially, someone named their child ABC 

Ruizu- Louise?  I don't even...what...

Jujii- What?

Lunaluna- HA

Mashuu- Mathew? 

Daun- Probably pronounced like "Down" 

Krillin- AH HELL NO.  REALLY?  

Satia- Another video game reference.  Classy. 

Haafu- Half.  Call someone less than whole.  

Faito- Fight.  Uh-huh.  This kid will get beat up for the rest of his life.  God forbid it's a girl's name

Haato- Heart, again, presumably a girl

Ichigo- "Strawberry" in Japanese.  I mean, Chris Martin and Gwyneth had a baby named "Apple"

Shooto- Short? Or Shot? I dunno.  Please don't ask me.  AAAhhhhhhhH!

Akua Marin- Someone was named Aquamarine.  And the character doesn't read as Aquamarine.  This person, girl or boy, is doomed for an arranged marriage 

Meraru- Video games are ruining real life 

Haato- Heart, again 

Zelda- Not bad, but...in Japan?  

Serehi- I have no idea 

Sui- Hmmm. Interesting.  Not very Japanese, but it's not the worst of these, by any means

Kyua- Okay, so some heartless parents decided to name their daughter Cure.  How much do you have to punish another human being for being an oops baby? 

Mew Two- ...I hate Pokemon with a burning passion 

Jedi- I hate Star Wars too, while I'm at the I hate Pokemon spree 

Iroha- ABC again 

Niton- No comment 

Non non- I can only assume that the parents are a fan of the girly magazine Non-No?  I really don't know.

I don't know.  The naming ability of a person shouldn't gauge how good their parenting skills will be, but this is just awful.  I don't know what I'd do if my sister or brother or friends told me that they were naming their child "X" and "X" was from the list above.  I'd probably cut all ties with them, and depending on how good a friend I am, intervene.  Maybe these babies' parents have no friends.  



  1. donkeymon

    Hadesu is how you say Hades in Japanese katakana pronunciation. And the Kanji (Ateji) mean Night God as well. Seems like a bad omen to name your kid that.

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